Life at Oak Grove

Last year, I participated to a full month of S.H.M.I.L.Y. while going through the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  The objective was to pray on a daily basis during the whole month of June for our husband.  S.H.M.I.L.Y. stands for See How Much I Love You.

Well today, June 1st, we are doing it again.  More than 696 women are participating.  If you want to join the group, please go to the facebook event page and start praying.

You can also follow the leader’s blog at Dandelion Seeds.

During the month of June, I will attempt to blog about my journey through the book.

I use an older version of the books but if you don’t have them, you can order them at amazon.ca.   I prefer having the devotional as well as it give more questions to ponder about each chapter.  

***************************************

While re-reading chapter one of the book, I realized that I still have to work on some things in my own life.   It was a good reminder that I can not change my husband, only God can.  But most importantly I can only changed myself.   So my prayer is – “Change me, LORD”.   Plain and simple.   

I got reminded of the importance of letting go of the past and the hurt associated to it.   Funny that this specific sentence stand up while I was reading the chapter.   I have realized something in the last couple of days that is bothering me.   Quite a bit.  

Last Sunday, we drove to Massena to do a bit of shopping on the US side.    At one point, I was strapping our daughter in her car seat, all the boys were already sitting in the truck as well as my husband.   I was alone still not in the truck when I close the door next to Jasmine.   Panic in my stomach…  What would I do if Rob decided to take off just like that?   Where this that come from?   I didn’t like it.  While thinking some more about this, I realized that I have felt like this in the past trips we have done – in the US, in Toronto…   Why?    Again this week, while we were in Wal-Mart in our part of town – which by the way I could walk back home easily – the same feeling came back.   I decided to open up and talk to him.    He supported me and suggested that maybe it was a fear of abandonment.  

Abandonment.  Hmmmm.    He also reminded me of the times I told him that when I was going skiing with my dad, he would take off after a while for more challenging hills – leaving me alone.   And I thought of the time when I was alone on a street in Montreal – panicking because if was getting darker and my parents were nowhere to be seen.  I had made a foolish decision to ask them to come and pick me up.  They thought I was back in Repentigny.   I wasn’t.   Geez.   And then there is the fact that my dad did left the family when I was in my 20s.  Separation and divorce is not easy even for older children.

So I need to let go of the fear of abandonment.   Change me, LORD.    Help me to realize that my husband is not my dad.   He is not him.  

The other section that touched me is this one on page 37 of the book.

Your home should be a peaceful sanctuary…  A source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, nurturing, rest and love for everyone.

I was reminded of the decision of homeschooling our kids and of me staying at home for them.   

So today I pray the following:

Lord help me to identify the areas in our home that are not safe.  May it becomes a place where creativity, communication and encouragement are found.    May you help me to be wise with the opportunities you bring to me as well as with my time.    If for whatever reasons blogging is becoming a problem I ask You to pull the plug on it.    Help me to keep our home cleaned, to do the laundry on a regular basis, to prepare healthy meals for my family, to find good deals when I need to buy something, to be a good teacher for my kids and a great wife for my husband.    Encourage me and help me to loose weight and be more healthy physically, mentally, sexually, and spiritually.    Help me to let go of the past and remove this fear of abandonment in me.   It is unjust for my husband that I have these feelings.   Please transform me from within.    Strengthen our marriage.   Breathe life into it on a daily basis.    Help us to work together as a team for every situation that might arise in our life.   Help me to realize when my expectations for my husband do not coincide with the reality of who he is.  Help me to develop a spirit of respect toward him.  And as Galations 5: 22-23a mentions, fill my up with the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Amen.

Proverbs 24:3-4

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Here is the entry post of Dandelion Seeds on the subject.

Tomorrow the chapter is about the work of our husbands.