Life at Oak Grove

We are back in town.   We had a good time in Niagara Falls and discovered neat things to do.   We had mostly good weather and we are blessed by this since we heard that in town it was rain, rain and more rain almost all of July.

Since hubby left with Alexandre on Thursday, I am wondering if we are doing the best choice for school.   Yep!   I am in my yearly doubting myself and being stressed and distressed.   I just want to give up and cry because I feel so useless.   I'm not sure it is in the best interest of the kids anymore.   Well, I know that school is probably not in the best interest either so why not a Christian school instead.   I don't know where to go to get encouragement and honestly I am not sure I care.    I'm in the pit of self-pity I guess.

The easyest solution would be to bring the kids to school.   It's not easy to school with a toddler and a 3 year old, a 5 year old who sighed everytime I asked him to do something.   My eldest is not so bad...  He is pretty much independant.  I can give him some pages to do and he would do it.   It's the younger ones who drain me.   I partly wish that I could separate myself in 4 and give as much attention to all of them.  

An idea has been mentioned to put the 3 year old in junior kindergarten for a year (his birthday would be in November which means he would be one of the youngest in the class).   But two days ago, I decided to sit him down and make him practice his name writing.   It went well.   And he needed the attention.  My 5 year old was practicing his writing for the letter of the alphabet from a book - so he was somewhat independent.   I realized that send ing the 3 year old at school where he would be a number among 20-25 other little ones - wasn't for his best interest.

So why am I so discouraged today?   Probably doesn't help that I am sick and that Jasmine - my toddler - is sick too.   The energy I had this morning is partly gone.   I'm tired and just want to go to bed.   Darn sinuses!

So here I am pouring out my heart to you - whoever who will read this - and knowing deep down that it isn't that bad.  But I have a short vision today.   Will I be able to school a 3rd grader, a kindergarten and a junior kindergarten this year?  And taking care of a toddler?  

Part of me wants me time... but after a month of being alone during the day I would be bored to death.  

I think I will ask my husband to care for the kids once a week so I can have time for myself to do what interest me like scrapbooking, card making or drawing.    I need some time and space for recuperate from the business of homeschool.   As soon as he comes back I will talk to him.