That's it.... I officially feel like a lioness in a cage. I need to get out but I can't drive. I want to go walk in a mall or something but I can't.
It is driving me nuts. Literally.
And it shows in my attitude I think. I'm not myself. I need to see something else than the 4 walls of our house. HELP!
Unfortunately, my true friends live too far from me... to come and pick me up. Like Heidi who is in Pennsylvania, or Lyne who lives outside of Montreal. Shannon is in town but they are visiting family right now and they will go back to Cochrane, AB soon. *sigh* and I still have 2 weeks to go (actually 1 week and a half but it feels longer!).
I realize that I lack close friends and honestly I feel too old to try again (I got burned in the past - often!).
Anyone wants to go out for coffee?
UPDATE: After lunch that day - we went out! Destination - ToysRUs, Costco, Wal-Mart and Micheal's... a bit much but it was worth it... I needed to go out and breath and walk outside of our 4 walls. OUF! I think I can last for another 2 weeks....
Back to my story – so I called mom and the bubble exploded once again. This time, I don’t know what to do. You see my mom got abused from family when she was younger and her husband too Not physically I think, but emotionally and verbally. And in so many years (she is 64 now), she has built a HUUUUUGE wall around her for protection. You think it’s easy to reach out. Every time we try to visit, I think it goes well and then a couple or few months afterward, I get the entire negative… Comments are twisted to the negative and so on. ARG! Problem is I’m an only child – no brothers or sisters. I don’t have support apart from my husband and he wonders why I continue to call. I can’t leave her alone… no matter what I do I will get it – the negative comments I mean!
You must be wondering if we ever shared the Gospel with her. The answer is yes. I thought it had gone well… I explained twice over a week-end the whole relationship with God thing and the choice was hers… Well a bubble exploded a few months later. Boy! I wasn’t expecting it. Since then, I have to ask to go down and most of the time I receive a NO. Last time I saw her when was my girl was born. Not that I didn’t try but what should I do?
Now my husband wanted me to ask her to come down. I procrastinated and waited… wanting to see an opportunity to ask but knowing deep down her answer. She I didn’t do it. And yesterday BAM! The guilt over me… but at the same time the rage about the whole thing. Oh LORD what should I do. I don’t know.
Now Hubby wants to go down next Sunday. I say we respect her. Whatever I do I know what awaits me… conflict, cries, negative comments… and you know what? I’m tired of this. Sooooo tired. I mean how can I explain to my kids we don’t see mamie often even when she lives about 2 hours 30 minutes from us? Why they don’t talk on the phone to her? Why she doesn’t send gifts?
You know what happened one day while Alexandre was talking to her on the phone and he asked her why she didn’t have Jesus in her heart? Poor kid was 3 years old I think. She hung up on him. He looked at me and simply said “Mamie is not on the phone anymore.” Breaks my heart. Then I got the brainwashing talk… She once told me that I was in a sect, that she didn’t understand why I rejected the Catholic faith and so on… Mind you we never were practicing when I was younger going to church only at Christmas, Easter or when visiting my maternal grandmother. I wasn’t perfect in the past, I made errors… I try to apologize for the errors… Really I did. But my mom loves to live in the past – how her husband cheated on her and left, what I said and done, what her family did and so on… So sad.
It breaks my heart. I don’t know what to do. Except praying that is but even that I wonder if it’s worth it… I’m at the point I just want to throw the towel. Give up in other words. But I can’t… Not giving up is my way of honoring her. So what should I do?
Even Hubby thinks she doesn’t deserve me and says I should stop calling her for a while. I pointed out that it’s funny he says that and at the same time thinks we should go down immediately. LOL He said I’m right and that we should continue to reach out. But does he understand that I am tired and my emotions are at a thin line on this subject? I wonder.
So for now, knowing that she is emotionally instable and tired, I shall respect her wish to not go down but I need to visit her…soon.
Every year from November until February it’s hard…. Her mom died on November 6th one year – the day after my mom’s birthday. Then a couple of year later, my mom discovered that my dad was cheating (that was in November too!) and he waited until February 14th the following year to leave. Fast forward a few years and my dad died on December 24th 2000. That did it. My mom lost everything according to her because of this other woman. Another one has got all the work that she has done in her life. Another one is getting whatever my dad left behind. You see what I mean.
For me it’s another thing from the past to deal with periodically. Maybe I shouldn’t have called yesterday but it was Christmas day after all.
So honestly, what should I do? My heart is broken for her. I want to see her in Heaven with us. But my hopes are crushed.
I don’t know what to do anymore…
Help me God.
Touch her in any way.
Show her the Truth.
Bring forth a worker to bring her to you. Family didn’t work so why not a stranger.
Bring her to church – a good one.
Transform her. Save her.
Please pray for me. I need to be strong.
I think I have the most helpful 2nd grader in the world! I am blessed with all my kids but this one helps me like there is no tomorrow.
Yesterday while we were chatting with other adults - Alexandre didn't want to play with the younger ones so I put out all the food leftover - burgers, hot dogs, cake... all in plastic containers and in the fridge. I'm so proud of him.
He was sad that his friend Émilie couldn't come so he kept occupied...
Like I said.... he is such a sweetie. I think I figured out his love language - service and spending time with us.
It all started unexpectedly on Thusday night.... My husband who receives earlier this week a little booklet about protecting ourselves against identity theft, decided to check it credit at one of the credit bureau in Canada....
The next morning, I learn that someone is using his identity (earlier in December) to get a car... Mmm! Not fun whatsoever. Car dealer is located in Fredericton, NB. Far from were we live!
By the end of the day, we learned that credit were refused to the guy. The guy offered to pay with a bank draft. Salesman drove the vehicule in Montreal, QC where it was agreed to be picked up by the buyer. A time was set so that the salesman can go to the bank to verify the bank draft. The buyer shows up 7 hours later after the bank are closed and vendor just want to go home and let the car go and take the bankdraft which - you guessed it - it a fake one! Car is worth 45 thousand! Then we also learn that he tried to get a cell phone which credit was refused also... Somehow we were protected. Hubby had to call all the places where a credit hit was done and explain the situation. Also called the RCMP, the car dealer, Rogers, all our banks/credit cards companies. The guy has all personal information and business information of my husband including the social insurance number. ARG! Tomorrow, we need to contact the department who takes care of the SIN, Canada Post to make sure no address changes have been done, and Revenue Canada just in case. And hubby wants to get more booklet from the insurance company who send it to us so he can give some to others. Bottom line, we learned that whoever did this probably had hubby's information from many years. The salary he declared was the salary my husband made in 2004.
I pray that somehow God will pour tons of guilt on the guy. I pray that he is caught while trying to make new transactions... I pray that they found the car he stole... but more than likely it is on a boat on it's way to Africa from what we learned. He also tried to get another car in Trois-Rivières. QC. I'm praying Ephesians 4:28 on him.
All this happened on Jasmine's birthday.
Today - what is schedule is her birthday party and it's my husband birthday too! But there was a snow storm.... and some friends who moved to Cochrane, AB were suppose to sleep over. But it won't happen and they were still suppose to come but because of the snow... well they are not coming. Both Alexandre and their daughter Emilie were crying. You see we have promised them they would see each other during Christmas time... Well now we need to arrange another meeting but this time just them and us. It will be better. Other friends were suppose to come but I don't know if they will face the snow storm if they decide to come - you see their 1 month son is back at the hospital for a possible minimum stay of 48 hours. I learned that from Facebook when Julia wrote a note at 453am. Since then - nothing. Don't know what is going on... Their son has been in the hospital at birth because of pneumonia and it lasted almost 2 weeks... Poor peanut.
So you can see why I wrote What a week-end! as a title.... It was quite hectic!!!
One year ago, you entered our life and have brought joy since then. I wish you a marvelous birthday my little girl and hope you will grow strong and have a love for the Lord like anyone have seen.
xoxo maman xoxo
Oh and if you are wondering… YES I can’t wait to be able to drive so I can get out a bit more! But for now, I am enjoying the rest and peace of being at home… and even without the cast on, I will have to continue to slow down a bit since there is another 6 weeks without impact activity that will follow.
... Anne of Green Gables were written by Lucy Maud Montgomery who lived in Prince-Edouard Island, Canada.
2008 is the 100th anniversary of the publication of the book.
I found this site listing a bunch of interesting site about Anne... Check it out!
... I've been blessed by a vendor I contacted to eventually buy his product so that my husband and I would like to go through.
I will tell you more about it another time but right now I'm floating on a cloud. So happy. It's getting shipped today...
A friend on Facebook posted this note and I thought it was interesting. I just wanted to share it with you all...
10 FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO WERE HOMESCHOOL
1. Agatha Christie. Agatha was a painfully shy girl, so her mom homeschooled her even though her two older siblings attended private school.
2. Pearl S. Buck was born in West Virginia, but her family moved to China when she was just three months old. She was homeschooled by a Confucian scholar and learned English as a second language from her mom.
3. Alexander Graham Bell was homeschooled by his mother until he was about 10. It was at this point that she started to go deaf and didn’t feel she could properly educate him any more. Her deafness inspired Bell to study acoustics and sound later in life.
4. If Thomas Edison was around today, he would probably be diagnosed with ADD – he left public school after only three months because his mind wouldn’t stop wandering. His mom homeschooled him after that, and he credited her with the success of his education: “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint.”
5. Ansel Adams was homeschooled at the age of 12 after his “wild laughter and undisguised contempt for the inept ramblings of his teachers” disrupted the classroom. His father took on his education from that point forward.
6. Robert Frost hated school so much he would get physically ill at the thought of going. He was homeschooled until his high school years.
7. Woodrow Wilson studied under his dad, one of the founders of the Southern Presbyterian Church in the United States (PCUS). He didn’t learn to read until he was about 12. He took a few classes at a school in Augusta, Georgia, to supplement his father’s teachings, and ended up spending a year at Davidson College before transferring to Princeton.
8. Mozart was educated by his dad as the Mozart family toured Europe from 1763-1766.
9. Laura Ingalls Wilder was homeschooled until her parents finally settled in De Smet in what was then Dakota Territory. She started teaching school herself when she was only 15 years old.
10. Louisa May Alcott studied mostly with her dad, but had a few lessons from family friends Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Nathaniel Hawthorne. Can you imagine?
It started about 2 months ago... Formula in the morning was oka, lunch time I could see that there was a bit of redness in her face but nothing else... in the evening though - that was another story. The red splashed on her upper body but when we was done with her bottle... without finishing it most of the time, it would disappear. At first we thought that it was because we got some Parent's Choice Formule (Wal-Mart brand) - which was a first because usually we always get the Kirkland one (Costco brand). So at one point I drove to Costco and bought some from there... Same reaction.
About a week ago, I took her to see our family doctor and discovered that she was not tolerating the milk protein. Great! Now what to give her. He suggest to me that we go with Soy. Soy is not something new in Rob's family because our 2 nieces-to-be can't tolerate the protein in the milk either so I called my sister-in-law and asked her some questions...
Because Jasmine is so close of being 1 year old, the doctor said I could go directly to the Soy beverage not the Soy formula. So I got one Soy Beverage from the grocery store and gave her some... She dunked it!!! Surprise for me since she usually never finished her bottle. Now she drinks 9 ounces morning, lunch and supper time... WoW! And you know what I realized this week-end... she is taking weight - good. I thought she was a bit small too! Now her 12 months old pants are holding on her waist while before they would fall down.
And the best is that the red splashes are gone! Completely gone! Hip Hip Horray!
I am so happy that we figure out the problem.... even if it means she will have to dring Soy for many years.
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- Broken heart
- Most helpful 2nd grader
- What a week-end!
- Happy 1st birthday to you, Jasmine !!!
- My wonderful kids....
- Learning to slow down and asking for help from you...
- Interesting facts about Anne of Green Gables...
- Blessed like there is no tomorrow...
- 10 famous people who were homeschool
- Soy beverage anyone?
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